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Monday, June 11, 2012

The Onion: Video: Report: High Unemployment Linked to One Man With 42,000 Jobs: Who Says America Has Weak Job Growth?


This post was originally posted at FRS Daily Press on Blogger

No wonder we have so much unemployment in this country. Jim Smith lets call him (for lack of a last name) has 42K jobs. You know to be honest with you, I have a hard time believing that one person could manage 42K jobs. I mean he would have to be Superman on steroids. A man with 14-21 thousand clones to pull this off, even making Mitt Romney jealous of all the clones he has. Perhaps Jim borrowed some of his clones from Mitt. He would have to be the worst workaholic imaginable. Someone who never sleeps, perhaps always on caffeine picking up a caffeine addiction while working at Starbucks and running another Starbucks. 

Jim Smith with  that  caffeine addiction, to be able to fly planes on the weekend, while he's air traffic controlling other planes in another city, at the same time. Flying from New York to St. Louis, while landing planes in Miami. His kids probably don't remember the last time they've seen him. His wife or several of his wives, (perhaps he's Mormon) ladies he's met on 2000 of his jobs, have already filed missing person reports. But the problem that police have, no not that they ran out of coffee and doughnuts, Jim gave them a new supply, while working at Dunkin Doughnuts. The problem that police have is that they don't know which Jim Smith to look for. 

How do you track someone down with 42K jobs? Not only that, but how do you track down someone with 42K jobs named Jim Smith. You look up that name in a phonebook and you see 1K guys with that name and then maybe you say. "Well how many guys named Jim Smith with 42K jobs?" Well only one if any, but I'm skeptical that one guy could have all of those jobs. I know what you are thinking to be skeptical of that there is a guy with 42K jobs, would be like trying to believe that Mitt Romney is unemployed, or Barack Obama is a Socialist or Santa Clause doesn't really exist. 

Well call me crazy then, but I don't believe it to begin with. I have this weird suspicion that this story was made up by Onion News and I know what you are thinking. That Onion News reports more facts than Fox News. Well thats true, but if Mitt Romney is unemployed, than anything is possible. I mean who says that President Obama's economic policies aren't working, 42K jobs were created for one man alone. 

With that type of Job Growth, we can create so many jobs, that we won't have enough unemployed workers and then we won't need as big as a safety net. Which of course would drive Progressives crazy to the point where they would come up with policies to layoff more workers, but wouldn't that be a nice problem to have. 



Mitt Romney's Economic Plan: Layoff More Public Workers Because People Need Jobs: Public Workers Are Also People



After having one of the worst if not worst weeks so far in 2012 for President Obama, bad Jobs Report, looks like Economic Growth may be declining. President Clinton makes two gaffes, one about the Tax Cuts, suggesting that President Obama should raise them before the elections and then making a statement that could've been made by the Devil himself. From the perspective of Democrats, saying that Mitt Romney is qualified to be President of the United States. President Obama gets out raised by Mitt Romney in May by a whopping 16M$, Wisconsin Democrats lose the recall last Tuesday. President Obama has a horrible misstatement on Friday, first the Private Sector is doing well, then its doing fine. A real George H.W. Bush moment, his Secretary of Commerce gets implicated in a Car Accident, I mean when it rains, its a hurricane for Democrats last week. But here's some sunshine, its name is Mitt Romney, a year round Christmas Gift, the man who can't shut up and go even a few days without making gaffes. He's addicted to gaffes like Green Bay is addicted to football, he can't help himself, he has a tendency to say what he really believes and then feels the need the next day. To correct himself by saying what he didn't mean to say, if that makes any sense.

Governor Romney over the weekend when he was giving a Campaign Speech, was criticizing the President for being in favor. Of giving States and Locals aide to be able to hire additional Public Workers and not have to layoff additional Public Workers, people and yes they are people as well. Workers like teachers, firefighters and Law Enforcement Officers, saying that President Obama is in favor of more government and then in the next sentence he says, that we don't need more government. We need to help people who who are out of work, get jobs not increase the size of government, what Governor Romney doesn't seem to be aware of, which is strange because he's an Ex Governor. Who had to run a State Administration and supervise State Workers, what Governor Romney doesn't seem to understand that is, that Public Workers are people to and they also need work to do and there are things that we simple need them to do.

The Private Sector doing well and fine statement is President Obama's George H.W. Bush out of touch moment and hopefully the last one he has. He might not be able to afford another moment like that but saying that we don't need to hire additional firefighters, teachers and Law Enforcement Officers. People who are unemployed and could fill these jobs, that we need to help people instead, is Mitt Romney's George H.W. Bush out of touch moment and Democrats need to pounce on this.