The Onion: 'Week in Review'

Source:The Onion- Also in what's not in the news: the Republican Party endorsed President Barack H. Obama for reelection as President of the United States.

Source:The Daily Press 

"Straight and gay service members are looking forward to asking and telling, scientists believe the recent heat wave may have been caused by a massive star at the center of the Solar System, and Bristol Palin reveals that her mother has had 15 abortions. It's the week of August 8th, 2011." 

From The Onion 

Source:The Onion- Governor Flip Flopper (Republican, Massachusetts) I mean Mitt Romney (honest mistake) is desperate to be President of the United States.

Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney announced today that he will clone himself again, to make himself look like a woman. Along with undergoing plastic surgery to make that happen, to better reconnect with female voters. But canceled those plans, after being told by Christian-Conservatives that they wouldn't vote for a woman for President. The ironic part of this, that a lot of those voters are women as well. 

In a press release from the Romney Campaign, they announced that already managing four clones, Conservative Mitt, Liberal Mitt, Moderate Mitt and Neoconservative Mitt, would be too much to handle. To go along with a Female Mitt.

Also in the news: Vice President Joe Biden  announced that Mitt Romney was more qualified to be President of the United States, then himself. But in the next sentenced announced that Mitt would make a worst President than George W. Bush. Apparently Vice President Biden forgot to take his medication. His wife Jill Biden announced that her husband is back home in bed now. And will only be allowed to leave the house, with tape wrapped around his mouth, to prevent him from speaking. 

That's your week in what didn't happen. For more information on what's not going on in the world, I suggest you become a die hard viewer of Fox News or reader of The Onion to find out how the world doesn't work.