The Onion: 'Candidate Profile- Hillary Clinton'

Source:The Onion- 2016 Democratic presidential candidate, Secretary Hillary R. Clinton.

Source:The New Democrat

"Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is expected to officially announce her candidacy for the 2016 presidential election on Sunday, putting an end to months of speculation about her plans. Here are some key things to know about the first Democrat to declare her candidacy:"

From The Onion

"Innocent civilians across the impact zone are picking up the pieces after Secretary of State Clinton's tedious visits to their farms, cultural centers"

From The Onion

Source:The Onion- Is Pakistan terrified of Hillary R. Clinton? 

Here are I guess what would be the worst and perhaps the bluntest and downright most honest campaign themes for Hillary Clinton for president.

“1. Vote for me, because I’m a woman! And it’s about time we had a female president.

2. Vote for me, because I can win because of my name, you like my husband. Oh by the way, remember the 1990s? Well, my last name is Clinton too."

3. For the Far-Left in the Democratic Party.

“Vote for me, because even though I’m an Anglo-Saxon Caucasian and most of our president’s have been either Caucasian or Anglo-Saxon and most cases both actually, Caucasian women are good, unless they’re Republicans. And we aren’t as bad as Caucasian men.”

4. For the radical Feminists in the Democratic Party.

“Vote for me, because I’m a woman and I want to be President of the United States. Oh be the way, I’m a female Democrat and I can get elected. Because of my last name and who my husband is. And we were President in the 1990s, I mean Bill was President in the 1990s. And things were so good back then under our watch. I mean his watch.”

Now, of course none of these themes will be Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign theme. I mean she would have to suffer a stroke and become brain-dead or something for any of this to come true. Along with just about everyone who works for her, or informally advises her.

But what is Hillary’s reason for running for president other than potentially becoming the first female President of the United States and giving that to the Democratic Party? What does she want to do as President when you have a paper-thin resume as she does and since George W. Bush, both he and now President Barack Obama have had that, it makes it too tough to figure out what type of President the candidate would be. Especially when she hasn’t offered much in policy positions and vision to let people know what she wants to do as President of the United States.